After spending over 25 years traveling for a living, one starts to think they’ve seen it all. Of course, they haven’t, and there are surprises all the time. Air travel has changed completely in the last half a dozen years but domestic car travel is still pretty much the same as it has always been.

The behavior of rookie travelers is always amazing, not to mention annoying, to the savvy traveler. From behavior in the airport, to the car rental place to the hotel, the inexperienced traveler stands out from the pros.

Here are eight travel tips for rookies so you don’t embarrass yourself nor annoy the rest of us.

One: The elevator is not going to leave without you. Give the poor people who are trying to get off the elevator a chance to get out before you go pushing your way in. Teach your bratty kids some elevator etiquette too, will you? Just stick your hand in the door and push. It will open again. Elevator doors only crush people in cartoons, not in real life.

Two: The plane is not going to leave without you. They call rows from the back of the plane for a reason, to make boarding orderly and smooth. If your boarding pass is for seat 12C, don’t get on when they call rows 36 to 42. With you standing at row 12, trying to shove your bag into the overhead, you’re blocking the poor slobs who are trying to get to rows 36 to 42. Just cool your jets, okay?

Three: After you arrive, unless you have six minutes to make a connection, you don’t have to be the first one off the plane. They won’t leave again with you on board. Relax and let the guy who has to make the six minute connection get off first.

Four: Why rush? You’ll get to the luggage carrousel before your bag does. No worry, the carousel goes around continuously and it doesn’t eat luggage. In order for your bag to be the first one on the carrousel, it would have to be the last one off the plane, which means it had to the first one on the plane. Federal regulations prohibit your bag from being the first one on the carrousel, anyway. (Oh sure, someone’s bag will be first, but someone will also win Powerball.)You don’t need to push your way in front of everyone else, your stuff will come around sooner or later. There’s no hurry, the hotel isn’t going rent your room out from under you.

Five: The Avis bus will not take you to Hertz. The Hertz bus will not take you to National. We can all read, so there is no need for you to announce all the busses as they pull up. The nice shuttle driver will not leave without you so there is no need to trample the little old lady ahead of you in line.(On your return trip, if Avis is next door to Hertz and you miss the Hertz bus, the Avis bus will take you to your airline. They’re all going to the same place - the departure terminal.)

Six: If you’re staying in a hotel that offers a continental breakfast, please behave yourself while you’re there and keep an eye on your bratty kids, too. The waffle iron takes two minutes. Standing there and staring at it will not shorten the time it takes to cook a waffle. Just because someone is smart enough to start a waffle and walk away to get coffee and orange juice doesn’t mean they abandoned it so stop looking appalled. Hovering around and watching over their shoulder as they struggle to get their waffle out of the iron is extremely rude.Don’t take all the cinnamon rolls. The kitchen will make more.You are not Cool Hand Luke. You cannot possibly eat thirteen hard boiled eggs. Leave a few for the rest of us, okay?

What, is this the first time you’ve seen a microwave oven? Just put your breakfast sandwich in there and push the button already. Some of us have appointments to make.

Seven: Didn’t your mother teach you to flush when you’re done? Flush it, will you?

Eight: Follow up to Seven…wash your *&^%#@! hands.

So enjoy your trip, travel safely but also travel smart. Someone besides Tom Bodette will leave the light on for you.