I’ve been working out of either my house or my suitcase for the last several years so when I had to start commuting to the hyberbaric clinic everyday, it was a rude awakening to me. The good news is that I’m headed west on I-94 while all the poor slobs on their way to work are driving east and into the sun. That is, until I get to Madison and have to do the battle of the Beltline to get to Fitchburg.

I’ve made a few observations in the last couple of weeks.

One, man must have evolved from the sheep, based on the way drivers flock together. More on flocks in a little bit.

Two, there is an optimum speed for getting to your destination, and there is usually a flock that finds that speed and moves together. (In the morning on westbound I-94 between Milwaukee and Madison, it is between 74 and 76 MPH.) If you are slower than the flock, you will be late to work and you’re just blocking traffic. Either speed up or get off the road and wait until later.

Three, there is always one idiot who thinks the optimum speed is too slow. He will weave in and out of traffic, trying his best to get one or two car lengths ahead of you. There is one such moron on I-94 who lives in Milwaukee and works in Madison. I usually encounter him about 3/4 of the way to Madison, or rather, he encounters me. He dodges, weaves and winds his way in and out of the pack and disappears over the western horizon. (I often catch up to him on the Beltline when traffic jams up there, and he’s still trying to get ahead of everyone.)

When you’re not in a commuting situation, and out on the open road, cars tend to flock together. If you find yourself in the back of one, you can weave in and out of the flock and get ahead of it, only to encounter another one a few miles up the road. (You do not own the left lane. Keep right except to pass and let the faster car go past, okay? Don’t look at your speedometer and act all indignant. If the guy is exceeding the speed limit in an unsafe manner, the troopers will get him sooner or later and he’s not your problem.)

Anyway, back to the commuters.

I just to thinking about all this and getting ready to write this when a report gets released that says commuters waste about one work week per year in traffic. The worst? Los Angeles (As Gomer Pyle would say, “Surprise, surprise, surprise!”) with over 72 hours lost in traffic per year. The least is Brownsville, TX with less than 8 hours lost per year.

Now, the proponents of toy trains are going to say the solution is light rail, but you aren’t going to solve 21st Century problems with 19th Century technology. Even the writers of the report say, “The problem has grown too rapidly and is too complex for only one technology or service to be ‘the solution’ in most regions.”

Think of the amount of fuel that is wasted by idling cars - billions of gallons per year - all because the archaic rules of business that have been in place for centuries: 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Isn’t it about time we look seriously at the work day and try to fix it? Just staggering hours from office to office would help immensely but as long as bosses all subscribe to the Ebeneezer Scrooge business model, the commuter jam will continue.

Here’s the report: http://mobility.tamu.edu/