JR Manning

When many of today’s movers and shakers were little kids, they were enthralled with a PBS Television show that was supposed to teach them how to be wonderful citizens. The show was called Mister Roger’s Neighborhood. One of the regular features of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood was the Neighborhood Trolley, the device that made the show transition from one scene to another - from Mister Roger’s Neighborhood, through the wall to the Neighborhood of Make Believe, where benevolent King Friday ruled.

The little trolley, which resembles a San Francisco cable car, well, sort of anyway, was kind of a generic model of a public transportation vehicle that used to be popular in the United States. Even though Mr. Rogers’ little trolley seemed to have a mind of its own, it was tied to its tracks and traveled only between the two destinations - a fact that seems to have been forgotten. After all, a trolley can only go where its tracks go, a severe limitation at best.

While trolleys were a major component of public transportation at one time, trolleys are virtually extinct in the United States today. They fell out of favor with the rise of automobiles and buses, because trolley tracks run down the middle of traffic lanes in major thoroughfares. Trolley tracks still exist in many cities, long since paved over.The last operating trolley in the United States is in New Orleans. If you’ve ever driven in New Orleans and been stuck in the traffic that piles up behind the trolley, you instantly know why the rest of them are all gone.

Another type of trolley, often known as an interurban railroad, has also pretty much disappeared from American life. In Milwaukee, interurban lines once ran north to Sheboygan, west to Waukesha and Oconomowoc, southwest to East Troy and the North Shore ran to Chicago. Most of them failed in the 1940’s because no one was riding them. The North Shore, the interurban line that ran to Chicago, lasted into 1963 but it, too, succumbed to low ridership. When the Edens expressway opened in 1951, the first nail was in the coffin, and when the Northwest Expressway, now known as the Kennedy opened, the line hemorrhaged riders until there was just no one left to ride the rails.

Even though the interurbans and trolleys all failed, for some reason, the movers and shakers who grew up with Mister Rogers seem to think the Neighborhood Trolley is a good idea. They cannot believe a trolley is just a cute anachronism. Sadly for trolley fans, their day is past. Trolleys are useless, fixed to an inflexible route and unable to change once built. Regardless of the romance of building a trolley, the ignored fact is that far more people will not ride it than will ride it. Despite the millions of dollars that such a boondoggle would cost to build, the millions of dollars that it will require to subsidize the operating expenses, and the much more attractive alternatives offered by rubber tires, the fans of the trolley insist on installing one in every major city.

Well, why not? The real trolley will be just like Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood trolley. Both will have the very same destination. The only difference is that the real trolley will carry millions upon millions upon millions of taxpayer dollars to the very same place as Mister Roger’s trolley:

The Neighborhood of Make Believe.

“You’re making more money than ever. In effect, your industry has no problem in doubling your profits, in tripling your profits, even when prices at the pump go crazy, you have no problem in keeping up with your increasing profit. It doesn’t seem fair guys, it just doesn’t seem fair.”

So said Senator Herb Kohl, Owner of the Milwaukee Bucks NBA Team, as he was grilling oil company executives yesterday.

Gee, Senator, I just went and looked at tickets for your basketball team. Ticket prices keep going up but your industry seems to have no trouble increasing your profits. You’re making money and your team members are getting paid millions and millions of dollars. Still, you expect little old me to pay you well over $125 for a decent seat to see a game. Oh, sure, I can pay you $10 for a seat up in the rafters someplace, and go watch the game on the monitors at the snack bar for a better view.

And all at the same time, you’re making millions and millions of dollars.

It just doesn’t seem fair, Senator, it just doesn’t seem fair.

Americans woke up to a revolting development this morning - gasoline prices jumped up about 25¢ per gallon overnight. You can expect outrage and anger from your co-workers and neighbors today, looking for someone to blame for the overnight hikes. So just why did gasoline prices spike so high overnight?

The answer is really quite easy. I went to the local gas station about 11:00 last night to top off the tank and encountered a man with a large SUV. He was topping off his tank and filling about 4 gasoline cans.

What did we know that you didn’t? We were paying attention yesterday. Oil, on the world wide market yesterday, closed at a record price of over $130.00 per barrel. It didn’t take rocket science to figure out that prices would go up this morning as the world demand for oil skyrockets.

Demand? Comedian Don Novello, as his character Father Guido Sarducci, proposed opening a five minute university, His course in Economics consisted of, “Economics? ‘Supply and Demand.’ That’s it.” Many graduates of Father Sarducci’s Five Minute University seem to have forgotten everything they learned about economics.

For decades, the greatest demand for oil came from the United States, in fact, it still does. Starting in the early 1970’s, it became obvious that America’s thirst for oil was a problem. In 1973, the price of a gallon of gasoline doubled overnight. There were spot shortages and long lines of automobiles at gas stations, waiting to buy a rationed amount of gasoline. It was a harbinger of things to come, but the lessons were not learned.

OPEC increased the supply of oil and the price stabilized. Thank you to Father Sarducci, it was a perfect example of supply and demand.

Today, the world demand for oil is on the rise. Americans are discovering that China is a developing economy and is competing in the world market for oil. So is India, where automobile maker, Tata, is doing for India what Henry Ford did for America 100 years ago. India needs oil. Russia needs oil. The United States needs oil. China needs oil, and especially now as power plants are offline from the recent earthquake and much of China’s electricity is coming from emergency generators.

The result? Demand is higher. Supply is lower. Prices are higher. What did Father Sarducci teach in his five minute university? “Economics? ‘Supply and Demand.’ That’s it.” Thank you, Father Sarducci. The only way your gasoline prices will stabilize, or even go down, is to increase the supply.

Being an election year, of course, the bloviating about gasoline prices is shifting into high gear, but remember, the baloney coming out of Washington these days will have no effect on gasoline prices.

The oil companies are not to blame for high gasoline prices, nor are “excess profits.” While crude prices have gone up more than 25% in the last 60 days, gasoline prices have only gone up about 15% - so much for gouging.

“Excess profits” makes a handy scapegoat, but it just isn’t right. BP Petroleum was number 5 in total profits in 2006, well behind the most profitable company in the United States, Microsoft. BP made about 9% profit margin while Microsoft made 22% profit margin, so why isn’t Congress going after Microsoft? We’re all paying too much to a virtual monopoly for operating systems and word processing software.

Nationalizing the oil companies or stealing their profits, as Jimmy Carter unsuccessfully tried to do in 1980, won’t lower gasoline prices. It didn’t work then, and it won’t work now.

Suing OPEC won’t stabilize prices, in fact, that is one of the dumbest ideas to come out of Congress since the Volstead Act.

Dropping the federal fuel tax will provide short term price relief and will demonstrate how deeply Uncle Sam has his hand in your pocket, but long term, it won’t help. It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a howitzer wound.

As Father Sarducci taught us, the only way to lower gasoline prices it to decrease demand, or increase the supply. Newsflash: Demand is not going to decrease any time soon. Electric cars aren’t going to do it - they merely shift the fuel supply from your tank to a power plant. Hybrid cars might help, but won’t lower prices anytime soon. We’ve proven that putting moonshine in our tanks won’t do it. We do need to continue exploring alternative energy sources, but let’s be realistic: demand for oil is not going to go down any time soon.

The only way to stabilize gasoline prices, or even lower gasoline prices, is to increase the supply. There are millions of barrels of oil in the United States that the oil companies are not allowed to go get. In 1994, people with vision foresaw today’s incredible demand for oil and proposed drilling in new locations in the United States - ANWR and offshore, to name two - but the President vetoed the bills. The oil remains underground where it is not doing anyone any good.

Even if we were to increase our own domestic oil production, much refining will have to be done offshore, because the same forces preventing drilling for oil have also prevented building any new refineries for the last thirty years.

We are told by the woe-is-us crowd that if we were to start drilling in ANWR today, it would take 8 years to see the results in the market. Had we started drilling there in 1994, we would be enjoying that supply today, thank you, so we should get started now, drilling for oil and building refineries to process that oil.

There is no magic bullet and no quick fix. High gasoline prices are here and they are here to stay. The best way to stabilize energy costs and minimize dependence on imported oil is to produce our own.

It’s time to stop talking and start drilling.

Been to a gas station lately?

It’s gotten to a point that when you go to buy gasoline, you really need plastic money. If you want to carry cash to purchase gasoline, you need a Brinks truck and an armed guard.

Buying gasoline is one of the most annoying time wasters I know. I hate stopping to buy gas, I always have. Several years ago, the gasoline companies figured out that convenience was the key to earning our business. The old fashioned filling station became a one stop convenience center. The real breakthrough was when gas pumps were equipped with credit card readers so guys like me could gas up and leave without having to take the time to walk into the store.

I liked that.

But then crude oil hit a hundred bucks a barrel and the price of a gallon of gasoline reached the level of fine jewelry. Not too long ago, I pulled up to the pump, inserted my plastic money, then started to pump. Meanwhile, I checked the oil and washed the windows. When I got back to the pump, it shut off right at $50.00 on the penny. I shut off the pump, took my receipt, and climbed into the car to record the price and mileage in my little log book. It seemed like the mileage had dropped off considerably - strange - maybe there ’s a problem with the engine?

Of course, when I turned the key, the gas guage told the story.

My tank was far from full.

That’s when I saw the sticker on the pump. “CREDIT CARD TRANSACTIONS ARE LIMITED TO FIFTY DOLLARS. THIS RULE IS YOUR CREDIT CARD PROVIDER AND NOT STUPID AMERICA OIL COMPANY.”

Grrrrrr. From then on, when the *&^%$#! pump stopped at fifty bucks, I’d just insert the card and do another transaction. That worked for awhile, but not anymore. When you try that now, the pump will give you the message - CARD NOT AUTHORIZED - SEE CASHIER.

Now, most gas station cashiers are slightly smarter than the gas pump. They’ll tell you the credit card company limits trasactions to fifty bucks, and will not allow multiple gasoline transactions. This is to prevent fraud, because the first thing most credit card thieves will do is fill up their tanks, along with all their buddies.

Okay, I can buy that. I asked my credit card provider, “Is there is a fifty dollar limit on transactions?”

Nope.

Somebody is lying - I’m sure it’s this sticker!

So who put this artificial fifty dollar limit on gas transactions? The oil companies. They blame your credit card company so you won’t blame them and stop buying from them. (There are two chances of me ever buying anything at a gasoline convenience store again. I’m sure that will cause the failure of the entire oil industry so I’ll get my revenge.) But stop buying gasoline from them? Where are we going to go to get fuel? It sure as hell isn’t going to be the ethanol station.

Why does everyone feel the need to lie to us about gasoline? The government lies about gasoline taxes and they lie about ethanol. The oil companies lie about the fifty dollar transactions. Wouldn’t it be refreshing if once, just once, a politician or oil company executive would tell us the truth about what’s really going on?